Day 5

Ok, so I didn't post about days 1-4, but day 5...oh boy, it's day 5. Day 5 post-op. I had surgery on Friday of last week. I had a laberal tear in my left hip. They did a debridement and tear repair, arthroscopically.
Day 5 is PAINFUL. I am completely oblivious to how much pain surgery puts a person in. I mean, I gave birth to my second child without pain meds (not my choice, but I did it). I never took anything more than an Advil for that. Yesterday after the pain pump came out I cried like a baby and begged to have it put back in. This pain is like nothing else I've ever experienced. I also feel like a total moron because I thought for sure I was going back to work the next Wednesday, which is tomorrow, which is in no way happening. I can hardly lower myself to the tinkler without crying out for my momma in pain! And to top it all off, I am a klutz on a pair of crutches. When I went through "crutches bootcamp" prior to the surgery I thought it was lame. I thought I was so above training on them, and when I saw the 16 year old crutching out of the physical therapy office, I thought pffft, I can do that. I'm coordinated, I was a cheerleader for pete's sake. Nope, I look like a 18 month old learning to walk for the first time. Needless to say, I am humbled. I cannot deal with this pain like a normal person, I cannot walk on crutches, I cannot ask for help, I suck at being sick. Ahhh, another day of horrible daytime TV.

Good Intentions..

When I am lying in bed at night I have every intention of waking up and working out. I have every intention of waking up early enough to get ready and look great for work. I have every intention of making time at night to clean that damn turtle tank in my sons room for the umpteenth time. I have every intention of cleaning (insert one of the six billion things that need cleaning in this house). Intentions are good right? It means I have the thoughts to do something. It means that I realize I need to do things. It means that I understand that I am responsible for things to be done.
Rarely do things get done. I still haven't woken up early to work out (in months), I sit and stare at the living room disaster, the piles of laundry, the floor that needs vacuuming. I cannot get up the energy to clean that turtle tank...again..(seriously, what is it that is in turtle food that makes THAT big of a disgusting, swamp smelling mess??).
I'll figure it out. I'll find a way. I'm just waiting for that magic moment when it all comes together...anyone know when that might be???