Say what??

Linguistics...language...I'm not sure what the actual study of language is called but I'm sure there is one. And who am I to judge verbiage...but I'm having a tough time accepting "totes" and "adorbs" to name a couple. Maybe it's the new French or Latin, but until then it sounds like we are creating a generation of kids who are afraid of syllables. Speak people...just say all of your syllables, trust me you have time. 

She's baaaaack!

It's been a loooong four years. Thought I could do it all. Be a mom, be a wife, an employee, a friend, a sister and a student! Turns out...I can't. In my opinion I failed at all of them. 3.87 GPA is still a fail people. So blogger was shut out, but now that I don't have school work to keep me busy and my kids are so used to me being not part of their lives I suppose blogger me is back. You might think...make it better with your kids, trust me I'm trying, but they are four years older now. They've developed personalities and lives and stuff, without me. It's my fault. Bummer of a post huh? It's ok, it'll get better ;) winks!

Day 5

Ok, so I didn't post about days 1-4, but day 5...oh boy, it's day 5. Day 5 post-op. I had surgery on Friday of last week. I had a laberal tear in my left hip. They did a debridement and tear repair, arthroscopically.
Day 5 is PAINFUL. I am completely oblivious to how much pain surgery puts a person in. I mean, I gave birth to my second child without pain meds (not my choice, but I did it). I never took anything more than an Advil for that. Yesterday after the pain pump came out I cried like a baby and begged to have it put back in. This pain is like nothing else I've ever experienced. I also feel like a total moron because I thought for sure I was going back to work the next Wednesday, which is tomorrow, which is in no way happening. I can hardly lower myself to the tinkler without crying out for my momma in pain! And to top it all off, I am a klutz on a pair of crutches. When I went through "crutches bootcamp" prior to the surgery I thought it was lame. I thought I was so above training on them, and when I saw the 16 year old crutching out of the physical therapy office, I thought pffft, I can do that. I'm coordinated, I was a cheerleader for pete's sake. Nope, I look like a 18 month old learning to walk for the first time. Needless to say, I am humbled. I cannot deal with this pain like a normal person, I cannot walk on crutches, I cannot ask for help, I suck at being sick. Ahhh, another day of horrible daytime TV.

Good Intentions..

When I am lying in bed at night I have every intention of waking up and working out. I have every intention of waking up early enough to get ready and look great for work. I have every intention of making time at night to clean that damn turtle tank in my sons room for the umpteenth time. I have every intention of cleaning (insert one of the six billion things that need cleaning in this house). Intentions are good right? It means I have the thoughts to do something. It means that I realize I need to do things. It means that I understand that I am responsible for things to be done.
Rarely do things get done. I still haven't woken up early to work out (in months), I sit and stare at the living room disaster, the piles of laundry, the floor that needs vacuuming. I cannot get up the energy to clean that turtle tank...again..(seriously, what is it that is in turtle food that makes THAT big of a disgusting, swamp smelling mess??).
I'll figure it out. I'll find a way. I'm just waiting for that magic moment when it all comes together...anyone know when that might be???

DVR me ASAP

The other day I was driving somewhere and in the car in front of me I could have sworn I saw the passenger smack the driver in the face. I was shocked to say the least, and my first instinct was to hit the rewind button. Now, before we go too much further into my weirdness, I have to say that I ended up next to that car in another lane and found the occupants to be laughing like crazy, so, they are good. Now, to my craziness...the fact that I thought to rewind a moment of life struck me later as both odd and frightening. Having a DVR at home, on our TV, has been awesome I have to say. Pausing, rewinding, recording, and the best part...fast forwarding through commercials! However, I use it so much (yes, I watch way to much TV) that I've found myself wishing or wanting to use DVR in real life. Sometimes it's when someone says something to me that I didn't hear...rewind. Or when I'm at work, learning a new piece of information...record. When something horrible is happening, like an accident or a fall....pause. Or when I have to do things I don't want to do, like grocery shopping, or driving...fast forward. Although all of those things would be super helpful in life, once I really thought about it I thought about how much I'd miss. If I have to ask for someone to repeat themselves, oh well! It might spark further conversation! When I'm learning something new at work...well, no matter what I'd like to record that! When something horrible is happening, and I'd like to pause, I'd probably stay paused forever so I didn't have to deal with the pain and when I'm doing those things I don't want to do, like drive or grocery shop, I'm missing a whole lot of much needed ME time. So, sometimes it would be cool, but imagine that power in the hands of everyone! We wouldn't know which way was up, down, around or even what time it was! I hate not knowing what time it is. Guess it's best to just live life as we have it coming...it all balances out in the end.

Time for some changes

So many things are changing, I may have a panic attack. I can't believe that it's been a month since I posted, it's been crazy in the Piller home. School has started...and been put on pause. Kids went back to school Sept 1st (YAY!) and I've had a couple of weeks of peace around the house. It's kind of lonely, although I wouldn't really say that out loud. And, today, I just finished my last final for the summer courses, phew! This was a tough semester. I'm glad it's over, but I only have a couple of weeks before the next fall quarter starts. Speaking of fall, that is changing too. The trees across the road are starting to change colors. It's a tough time to catch, those leaves changing. If you are lucky you get a couple of good days to revel in how beautiful the change can be before they attack the ground in full force (and the sounds of leaf blowers take the place of lawn mowers). The biggest change of all is my going back to work. Granted I've worked here and there, filling in for people and even bartending, but tomorrow I go back to actual work. Actual work. Customer service work. In an office, with other people. I'm having a bit of agoraphobia I believe and I'm sure to be homesick. Being home for 1 year and 11 months probably didn't help, but I think I may have always been that way and I just pushed myself to seem otherwise.
Changes are good. Changes are scary. Changes keep things moving and interesting. Of all the things changes are they are inevitable and must be embraced...the alternative is to be left in the past. Taking a deep breath now, putting the panic attack aside and enjoying the last day of non-working freedom. Enjoy fall!

The Punish List

A list of the things that I used to get in trouble for as a child and now punish my kids for...

1. Leaving lights on. I never really understood the cost of light bulbs and electricity as a child, thought my step-dad was insane for going crazy over them being left on but now it's not even the money that bothers me, it's the fact that it's just plain annoying and lazy that they are left on. Yet, I wonder if that's maybe what got his goat too and we just use money as the excuse to punish since it's much more practical and kids can't argue with that.

2. Tipping your chair at the dinner table. I used to have to sit on the washing machine as a kid if I tipped my chair back. I don't make my kids do that, mostly because the washer is in the basement and it's just plain nasty down there, but it still ticks me off and I get a little fussy about it.

3. Putting your hair back at dinner. This one used to send my Grandpa Neuman into a tizzy if the girls didn't have their hair back at dinner. One loose hair on the table or in the food and Grandpa's dinner was o-v-e-r. My daughter hates me for making her pull her hair back before eating...I however hate watching her eat hair for dinner...I cooked dammit!

4. Clean your room. I mean, this is probably every child in the world...rarely do they clean their rooms, and as a child we are pretty creative at finding good excuses as to why it should just stay messy, including but not limited to "I can find stuff easier", "it's MY room, why do you care", and "if you stop looking at it then you won't care if it's dirty". However, as a mom I find myself answering with the one standard response that must be passed from generation to generation, which is "It's my house, I pay for it, this room is not yours, you just borrow it until you are 18 and move out...when you are 18, not a day later."

5. Move away from the TV. I swear there isn't a day that goes by that I don't walk into the living room and say "move back from the TV". WHY do kids sit so close? I don't get it. Not sure if it really does hurt their eyes, but just to be safe we mine as well yell at'em about it. Hell, we heard it so it must be true.

So yeah, what goes around comes around and although I hate to admit that, I take comfort in knowing that my children will one day be in this same boat and I won't feel so horrible about the lessons I've learned and taught...I turned out pretty good.