Should, coulda, woulda

More than anything, I hate it when I'm wrong. Even when I know what I'm doing is wrong, I can usually justify how right it is, and then when I realize I'm wrong about it, I'm annoyed. After high school and up until very recently, I had convinced myself that it was OK that I hadn't gone to college. I had some reasons why I didn't go, and I've blamed not going on someone else for a really long time, however, looking back, I really didn't want to go either. It's a hard thing, college, especially when you don't have someone pushing you and helping you through the process (which I did not). I thought I'd be fine, get a job, have a family, and be non the worse off without the college education. For a really long time, I was fine. I had a great job and made more money than a lot of people I know that DO have a college education. I was OK with that, and at parties when I was asked where I went to school I skillfully changed the subject. Also, I'm a total hypocrite, I'm constantly pushing my kids to get good grades and they know they are expected to go to college...it's not even really an option. Up until now I didn't really have a reason why they should go other than the education of course, and the experience. However, I'm becoming wise in my old age (hey, I just had a birthday and I can feel old for awhile still) and I've realized through my school work that there are so many more benefits to having gone to college, even if the classes aren't in direct relation to your major. Specifically my English Comp class, where we are learning more about writing, and different methods to do so, APA formatting (which is still an odd concept to me) and more. I can look back and see how even though I'm a fairly good writer having had this class before I went into the workforce may have helped me along the way. I feel better about myself too, I feel that I can honestly tell my kids they are going to school without feeling regret or hypocritical, and I can feel proud of myself when someone asks me where I went to school, or what I majored in and I'll have an actual real answer. Granted, I don't get to stay in a dorm, meet a plethora of new people, gain the freshman 15 (don't worry, I got mine with each kid, didn't miss out on that one!) or have the experience of sitting in a classroom, which all are important. I do however get the benefit of the education and right now, that is all that matters.
So, I shoulda went to school, I coulda had an education from the start and made things a little easier on myself, but then I woulda had to miss out on meeting my amazing hubby, having two great kids, and being where I am in my life which is just where I want to be.